The Cover Hog
by cjgwilliams
Summary: Part of The Agent and the Advocate Series. Tobias is tired of Tris stealing the covers while they sleep. Eternal thanks to Milner for beta services!


Tobias realized two things as soon as he opened his eyes: first, it was President's Day, so he wasn't late for work. He heaved a relived sigh because if he'd awoken at seven-thirty any other day, he'd be seriously late. Second, his ass was _freezing_.

He heaved another sigh, this time resigned as he lifted his head slightly to see that, once again, Tris had stolen the covers. He propped himself up on his elbow and stared at the honey blonde hair spread out on the pillow next to him. Her hair was about _all_ he could see because she'd burrowed in the covers like a caterpillar in its cocoon. Tris had always stolen the covers so this wasn't new. But in their new house, Tobias actually cared that she was a cover hog. The air circulation wasn't the greatest and for some reason, their bedroom was either way too hot or way too cold. They'd been experimenting with the thermostat every night, but hadn't found a happy medium yet.

He debated between just getting up or pulling the covers away from her, waking her in the process. As tempting as that sounded, Tobias couldn't do it. Tris had had a really tough week: she'd been advocating for two kids to be removed from their home, but the Judge thought the mom deserved 'just one more chance'. The youngest wound up in the hospital with a broken arm; the mother's new boyfriend pushed her out of his way and she fell down the stairs. To make matters worse, the mother refused to take her to the hospital, and the older brother had to sneak her out of the house to a neighbor's to get help.

Tris had taken it hard, her sadness and anger boiling over in a way that rarely happened. She hadn't slept well all week and Tobias was glad she was actually getting some rest, so he stretched and slid carefully out of bed; Tris didn't budge. He grabbed the new robe Tris bought him for Christmas and tip-toed out of the bedroom.

There were still a few boxes left to unpack. When they'd moved out of their little two bedroom apartment, Tobias has been shocked to discover just how much stuff they'd accumulated. He navigated the maze of boxes stacked between the hallway and kitchen without incident and searched the cabinets for the coffee beans. He could barely work the grind and brew coffeemaker, and felt a spurt of triumph as it whirled to life, grinding the beans loudly. He nearly did a happy dance as the smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the kitchen.

He pulled down a couple of mugs and filled his before the coffeemaker was finished brewing; luckily there was a reservoir so impatient coffee drinkers could get a quick hit. He closed his eyes and savored the jolt of caffeine spreading warmth through his chest.

"You figured out the coffeemaker all by yourself?" Without opening his eyes, he flipped her his middle finger. Tris chuckled and slid her arms around his waist, burrowing her face in his back. "Why are you up so early?"

He put down his mug and poured her a cup. "My ass was freezing."

She opened the refrigerator and pulled out the milk. She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "Really? I was actually warm last night."

He smirked as she poured milk in her coffee. "That's because you stole all the covers. Again."

She shot him an annoyed look. "I do not steal the covers."

He topped off his own mug and rolled his eyes at her. "The hell you don't. You should've felt my ass. It was like a block of ice."

Challenge accepted, Tris thought as she put down her mug, carefully sliding her arms around his waist and into the back of his boxer shorts. "I don't know," she snarked, "It feels toasty warm to me." She squeezed and he laughed.

"Oh, no. You do not get off that easily."

Her lips curved into a wicked smile, and Tobias groaned as he realized the innuendo he'd unwittingly provided. "I walked right into that," he said.

"Yes, you did." She gave him a quick peck on the lips and turned to pick up her coffee again. "Besides," she said, as she moved over to the breadbox and grabbed the bagels, "I don't steal the covers."

Tobias rolled his eyes. "Sure."

One of the great mysteries of marriage, Tobias decided, was how in the hell your spouse got you to do shit you absolutely, positively hated to do. He stared at the wall of sheets in front of him and wondered how he'd gotten here. Oh, right. _Ego_. "Since you insist I steal the covers," Tris said sarcastically, "Then you can go get bigger flat sheets and maybe that'll solve the problem."

"I don't know shit about sheets."

"Then it must not be that big of a problem," she shot back. He'd relented because his other choice was going to Target, and Tobias would rather face the ninth level of hell than go into that store, especially on a holiday.

He turned his attention back to the wall of sheets and their varying rainbow of colors. _She'll get what I pick_ , he thought grumpily. He reached for a king sized flat sheet in a dark blue. He was pretty sure they had dark blue sheets and king size should work since their bed was, as Tris had reminded him, a queen. He figured that was good enough since this was just an experiment anyway. If a larger sheet meant he didn't have to wake up with a frosty ass, he was all for it.

He was distracted by the grilling equipment on his way to the cashier. He was looking forward to buying his first grill now that they had a backyard. He'd been drooling over the large charcoal/propane dual fuel grill Zeke had gotten as a Christmas gift from Shauna. Tobias sighed and promised himself he'd look when it got warmer. He rounded the corner and stopped dead; the line for the cashier had no less than fifteen people in it. His shoulders sagged; this was why he hated shopping. There were too many damn people.

Tobias stood in line with his sole sheet and wondered it if would be a misuse of his ID to flash his FBI badge and cut to the head of the line. When he saw an older woman give a younger one the stink eye when she stepped out of line to grab a candy bar and back, he decided he probably shouldn't risk it.

The line moved in slow, agonizing inches past the clearance tables. He was nearly to the cashier when he saw it. _Should I?_ he thought. He weighed the consequences and figured he'd take his chances. Without stepping out of line, he reached over and snagged the fluffy bundle of fleece. The bored looking cashier didn't even blink when she rang up his purchases, asking him if he had a coupon. He didn't and paid way more than he thought he should for the fleece. But, it would be worth it.

Tobias grinned in triumph when he realized the house was empty. He'd beaten Tris home, and wondered if he had time to arrange her impromptu present. He pulled out his phone and texted her.

– _I'm back home._

– _Lucky. I'm still in line at the grocery store._

– _Last stop?_

– _Yeah._

– _I'll start the laundry then since you're stuck. But only if you picked up peanut butter Oreos._

– _What kind of wife do you think I am?_

– _The best. See you in a bit._

– _Ok._

Tobias stuck his phone in his back pocket. Smirking, he ran upstairs and swiftly stripped the bed. He grabbed the blue sheets from the hall closet and put them on the bed, unwrapping the new flat sheet and smoothing it over the bed. He noticed how the fabric trailed nearly to the floor, but still cheated and pulled a bit more to his side. Satisfied, he tucked the ends under the mattress. This just may work out after all, he thought. He covered the bed with the quilt and neatly plumped the pillows; he hadn't made the bed this carefully since he first got together with Tris and was still trying to impress her.

He pulled the fleece out of the Bed Bath and Beyond bag. He discarded the cardboard and refolded the fleece carefully, leaving it on Tris' side of the bed; she'd see it as soon as she walked in the bedroom. On impulse he grabbed a sticky note from his office and scribbled a note, sticking it carefully onto the folded fleece. Smirking to himself, he practically skipped down the stairs to the kitchen with the dirty sheets.

By the time Tris got home, she was more than a little frazzled. She didn't know why in the world they thought it was a good idea to put off their weekend shopping until Monday. But, she had to admit, lazily lounging with Tobias on the couch in their pajamas, watching movies, and participating in _other_ things had made for an extremely pleasant Sunday. It almost made up for fighting the holiday crowd in the freezing Chicago weather.

Tobias helped her unload the bags from Target and the grocery store. The simple chore actually helped calm her down to the point where she shooed Tobias out of the kitchen while she made sandwiches. They relaxed on the couch, flipping through the cable stations until they settled on Jurassic Park. The movie wasn't quite enough to hold Tobias' attention, and soon he was dozing on the couch.

Tris carefully disentangled herself from him and took their empty plates into the kitchen. She wouldn't let him sleep long, but he'd been up pretty early for a day off. She felt slightly guilty about the covers; she wasn't entirely convinced she stole them, but there had to be some explanation for his early rise.

She pulled the clean towels out of the dryer and folded them, loading in the wet sheets before heading up the stairs to put things away. Saving two towels, she walked into the bedroom, intent on swapping out their dirty ones. As she exited the master bath, she noticed a neatly folded pile of pink and white on her side of the bed with a yellow sticky note on it. Frowning slightly she picked up the note, reading it swiftly; her eyes widened as she took in the words written on it.

Tobias' cozy nap was interrupted by a throw pillow to the head. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "What gi– oof!" The pillow hit him dead in the face. He looked up at his assailant, and it was all he could do not to laugh.

Tris stood in front of him, her grey eyes bright with amused indignation. "What the hell is this?" In one hand was the weapon she'd assaulted him with: one of the throw pillows from their couch. In the other hand was his present, a fluffy white fleece blanket with pink pigs all over it.

"A pillow."

She growled and threw the pillow at his head. "No, not that. This!" She held up the fleece blanket clenched tightly in her fist.

"Oh, that?" he said innocently. "A present."

She reached into her back pocket for the sticky note. "To my lovely wife, the cover hog." She looked back at him. "Really?"

Tobias' lips were twitching. "What? I saw it and thought of you."

Their eyes locked, turning the moment into an intense staring match. Tris bit the inside of her lip, trying to keep from laughing. "I do _not_ hog the covers," she said, enunciating each word between clenched teeth and trying desperately to project an angry face.

"Well, now you have your own little blanket, all to yourself. You and your fellow hogs." He grinned at her, his dark blue eyes twinkling with mischief.

Tris gave up and giggled. "Smartass," she said, turning to take the fleece back upstairs. "But just remember," her voice floated downstairs, "Payback's a bitch!"


End file.
